Not had a good day today, not sure why but I really just couldn’t be bothered to do anything this evening. To be honest I reckon I am allowed to have off days when I cannot be arsed to do anything.

It has been a weird few weeks and I have been up a height with both the home educating the kids as well as trying to be the head of the school from home. We broke up today and I think my body and brain just went flop.

Hopefully I can have a couple of days break which will chill me out.

Going to try for an early night tonight and get some sleep. I thought I would share this, it was shared with me and it certainly rings true.

“IN CRISES, WE START DOING WEIRD STUFF: Over the last week I have struggled to sleep, stayed up late into the night reading endless news articles, bought pasta I don’t even like very much, got angry with my mum for not staying home. My spelling is a disaster and I’m definitely drinking more. I’ve been a bit teary, and all I really want to eat is cake, cake and more cake. From what I got back from my post yesterday, I’m not alone.

If you’re having a wobble, you may also have noticed all sorts of weird stuff going on. Are you arguing more, talking faster, struggling to sleep, restless, desperate for information? Or are you teary and overwhelmed, perhaps feeling a bit sick? Struggling to make decisions? Just want to stay in bed? Tummy upsets? Having palpitations, butterflies, headaches? Ranting, picking fights or getting into arguments? Laughing unexpectedly or saying random, inappropriate things? Developing Very Strong Opinions on epidemiology overnight? Or have you just completely gone to ground?

If you are feeling any of these things: good news! You are not going mad. And you are 100% not alone. You are, in fact completely normal: a fully emotionally functional human being. Congratulations! Why? I’ll explain: take a seat and put the kettle on.

WE ARE LIVING IN TURBO-ANXIOUS TIMES. Well, no kidding. We’re in the middle of an unprecedented crisis that has showed up unexpectedly (they do that) and which presents a mortal threat to ourselves, our loved ones and our way of life. It’s terrifying and it’s getting worse and it makes us feel totally out of control. And this is on top of anything else we have going on.

HERE’S THE SCIENCE BIT. When we are exposed to threats and need to deal with them, our brain springs into action. Specifically a tiny, innocent-looking thing buried behind your ear called the amygdala (fun fact: it’s the size and shape of an almond). It’s the bit in charge when we are frightened and right now, it’s in full tin-hat klaxon mode. Unfortunately, it’s also very ancient bit of kit. It came into being when threats basically consisted of being eaten by large scary animals like bears. You know that thing about when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail? Well, to the amygdala, everything looks like a bear. It’s also pretty basic, so it really only has two settings. They are no bear 🙂 and BEAR!!!.

SETTING: BEAR!!!. Because all threats look like a bear to the amygdala, it preps you accordingly. There are really only two reactions to a bear about to eat you: fight it, or run away really fast. So this is what the body gets you ready to do. It’s called the Fight or Flight response (there’s also freeze, meaning you just get paralysed). It does this by flooding your body with chemicals like cortisol, and adrenaline. Your heart rate goes up, you feel super alert, your breathing goes shallow, your muscles are ready for action. These chemicals are also largely responsible for the huge range of other cognitive/physical/emotional reactions in my intro. In group fear situation like a pandemic, this tends to happen whether you think you’re scared or not – anxiety is even more infectious than COVID. Your body reacts even if your conscious mind doesn’t.

BEAR V VIRUS: Obviously this is all great if you really are running away from a bear. But we’re now in a situation where we’re being asked to do the EXACT OPPOSITE of running away. We are being told to sit tight. Literally stay still. Process large amounts of information, make complicated and life changing decisions, and stay calm. All while a bit of your brain is running around yelling BEAR!!! BEAR!!! BEAR!!! This isn’t easy. The result is an awful lot of stress and anxiety. And if you’re anything like me, you end up feeling really overwhelmed and having all sorts of reactions.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS: Anxiety isn’t just mental – it’s also physical, cognitive and behavioural. You will notice all kinds of things: stomach upsets, headaches, insomnia, changes to eating, changes to the way you talk. It’s also cognitive: it’s very difficult to think straight when you’ve got the BEAR!!! BEAR!!! BEAR!!! thing going on – so we also become very bad at making decisions, absorbing information and generally thinking rationally. Which is EXACTLY what we need to do.

SO WHAT TO DO: well, the good news is it is possible to calm down. We can turn the amygdala from BEAR!!! to NO BEAR 😊, and not just by distracting it with cake and tea. Her are some solid, scientifically proven things you can do.

BREATHE. It’s so basic, but breathing exercises are basically magic. They work in minutes and you can do them anywhere. They work because of all the physical reactions the amygdala triggers, rapid breathing is the only one over which we have conscious control. Control your breathing and you are basically telling your body: it’s OK. There is no bear. Your body will then start to dial down the adrenaline and cortisol and all the other reactions will slow to a halt. How to control your breathing? It’s easy – and if you want help just put “two minute breathe bubble” in into Youtube. The golden rules are these:

• In through the nose, out through the mouth. SLOWLY
• Make the outbreath longer than the inbreath – imagine there’s a candle in front of you and it mustn’t go out
• Breathe from the tummy not chest – really make your tummy go out when breathing in.
• Do it for two minutes – time yourself – and see how you feel

Seriously, try it – this technique is used by everyone from top athletes to the US military to help stay in control while under stress. There are all sorts of versions – from yogic breathing to box breathing to 4-7-8. Google them, mess around, figure out what works for you.

CALL A FRIEND: Don’t suffer alone. Call a mate – someone who’ll listen while you have a bit of a rant, or a cry, or a general wobble. Someone you can trust not to judge you and who’ll just sympathise. And if you get one of those calls, just be nice to them. You only need to be kind. You can’t fix what’s going on so just give them a bit of space to rant and tell them they’re normal and doing great. And if you’re OK, call your friends and check in on them. Especially if they’ve gone silent.

LAUGH: it doesn’t matter what is funny – laughter is a huge releaser of endorphins. Silly memes, silly jokes, stand-up, rolling around with your kids – videos on youtube. The sillier the better. Also v good for bonding with friends, which will also help you feel less alone.

DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HANDS. Yes you can meditate if this is your bag, it’s amazing. But if it’s not, and personally I’m rubbish, then trying to start when you’re already anxious is really hard. So do something instead with your hands, that you have to focus on to get right. Cook. Tidy. Knit. Draw. Bake. Garden. Mend things. This is what nice middle class therapists like me call Mindfulness.

TREAT YOUR BODY: We hold stress in our bodies at least as much as our minds. Take a bath or a shower. Put on things that feel good on your skin. Use nice smelling body creams. Stretch. Skip. Do yoga. Dance. Eat healthy but delicious things – fresh if you can get it. All of these will help calm you down.

SUNSHINE. It’s SPRINGTIME amid this horror – enjoy it. If you can’t go outside, open the windows and feel it on your face and breath it in. If it’s safe for you to go outside (maybe you live in the country) do it, while of course observing social distance. Go for a walk. Being outdoors, connecting to nature, is hugely calming.

STEP AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA/THE NEWS: All it will do will scare you more and make things worse. Turn off the telly and for gods sake avoid the psychopathic digital wild west that is Twitter. Stick to sensible sources like the BBC and the NHS, and limit yourself to short need-to-know bits a day. You’ll feel better immediately. Talk to friends instead – this is physical, not social distancing

STEP AWAY FROM TERRIBLE COPING MECHANISMS: They will all translate as BEAR!! to your poor brain. Especially don’t get drunk, especially if you’re alone (BEAR!!!), take drugs (BEAR!!!), stay up all night reading (BEAR!!!), get sucked into conspiracy theories (BEAR!!!), pay attention to ANYTHING Donald Trump says (BEAR!!!). See? Stress levels going up already. Breathe.

BE KIND: to yourself and others. Now is not the time to go on a diet. Nor is this the time to start on Proust or makeover your life. You’ll probably struggle to concentrate, fail and make yourself feel worse (hat tip Laura Gordon for this bit). Don’t make this more stressful than it already is. Think comfort books, comfort telly, comfort everything. Personally I re-read children’s books. Everyone is wobbly, everyone is going to have a meltdown at some point. Understand that if someone is angry or aggressive, then they are also just scared. And eat more cake. Cake makes everything better.

So, there we go. Hopefully a bit less BEAR!!. Now, that kettle should have boiled by now. Go make a nice cup of tea, sit by a window and drink it in this lovely morning sunshine. We are British after all. And save me some cake <3.”

So no painting again tonight. We did a video chat with some friends of ours and I had tidied up my paints and put them in their box. I couldn’t be bothered to move stuff and rootle around in there.

Instead I got my leaf punches out and gave myself a repetitive strain injury!

I think they look rather nice. I might find a reddish-brown too and add some of them in too.

The other thing was to mooch around Thingiverse looking for more lizardy things to print. After a bit of a play around with Cura, I sliced something then sat and looked at it for a good while. It was another 23 hour print. I did consider it, then actually just dumped the file as it was quite complex. I will either see what Ebay throws up or wait until the temperature increases. It’s not as if I will be gaming with anyone outside of the house for a good while!

So, as the famous saying goes…The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. I planned to get things painted tonight and failed to achieve anything… well apart from looking at pretty pictures in the Battle Tome…

A parcel came today, so I read a bit of this too…

I really must get some painting done sometime soon, even a smidge would do. It has been a bit tricky working from home and trying to keep the kids going on their schoolwork, whilst feeling a bit crap.

Three more days before I can leave it all for a couple weeks as we break up for Easter on Friday. It could have done with being last week.

Hopefully I will have plenty of time for painting then…

So, it looks like I am going to be in isolation for the next fourteen days. BoJo has decreed that anyone with a family member who has shown any signs of a temperature etc needs to self isolate for 14 days. I removed a carpet from the lounge yesterday which had been down 10 years, so as you can imagine it was a bit dusty under there. I had a bit of a cough with all the dust. Problem is, it is still there 30 hours after it got removed. Bugger springs to mind!

So I am now going to have to be a Head Teacher from home, luckily the schools are closed this week (and Probably next too). I was in there today with other staff. Thankfully I managed to get the home schooling pack out today. 👍

Sadly nothing got done hobby wise. My wife’s place of employment is probably going to shut down temporarily, so she has been trying to get press releases done ready for tomorrow and I have been trying to get my brain into gear. I had convinced myself that I was going to come out the other end of this unscathed, stupid I know, but it was probably my way of coping. Doctor has prescribed some medication for the panic attacks so that should help in the long run.

It is definitely a case of ‘May we live in interesting times’!

I tried the joint on this tonight and the superglue/Greenstuff seem to have done the trick. I will do some more on the joins tomorrow evening. The one on the back needs a bit more filling and then smoothing of with a fine sandpaper.

Today new things arrived and new things were purchased.

As part of the family is still self isolating . My eldest and I managed to escape into town to get horse feed and a new gas bottle. As the schools are off for a week we also had a hunt for some kind of board game that they would all want.

We did manage to find some games as well as some more Contrast paint 😉

The other thing, was a postal delivery. A box of bits for Muskets and Tomahawks.

I ended up getting the cards and tokens. I didn’t bother when I went for the pre-order so once the rules came I realised that there weren’t any cards that I could have copied so I decided to order them.

Hopefully I will get a game or two in soon. Due to the Covid virus there is no archery tomorrow. I will give the club a miss too.

This made me laugh far too much!

Instead of painting anything, I spent the time slicing various lizardy things. I can’t be bothered to wait another couple of hours to show you. Instead I shall go to bed, and show you tomorrow.

My daughter started on her Dino this evening…

Whilst she was getting on with her painting I managed to get something done on my orks.

Hopefully this weekend she will get her dinosaur done and I can carry on with these.

So I a achieved nothing this evening… had to pick my daughter up from Youth Theatre and then had to try and untangle the work from today so that I could plan for tomorrow.

So with one thing and another the best I managed was the spray this chap for my daughter who wanted to paint a big dinosaur to match in with mine. Once again it has some really nice detailing on it. This is not an expensive Scheich one, but a cheap Chinese one with a date stamp of 1991. It does have some mould lines, which I forgot to remove. She may have words with me!

A thought has just struck me… were there albino dinosaurs? Or is albinism a relatively new thing? We will never know, but it is an interesting thought nonetheless.

The other bit of excitement from today was that my son was sent home from school with a very high temperature and a cough. So a lot of phoning to doctors etc. He is looking a lot better tonight. We think it is just a cold/cough. The other amazing thing is that the next two fire festivals have been cancelled. The South Mainland One is second only to Lerwick so for that to be cancelled and not just postponed is quite a big thing. So well done to them for following advice from the NHS. Two people who were on a birthday bus that visited most of the hostelry’s on Shetland have tested positive for the virus… whoops!

So today I went into the bottom of the big shed looking for something. When I moved a box of some 6mm stuff it sloshed… not the normal sound one would associate with 6mm miniatures in cardboard boxes.

All in all it looks like I am going to have to rescue some miniatures shortly… I really don’t know how I am going to store these now. I have had the rosin boxes for around 30 years 😂.

It’s getting on a bit now so I think I will get this lot sorted and paint something tomorrow evening.

An update…. they are all out of the besogged boxes and sitting there attempting to dry.

I found some more after the above was taken. The dwarves have joined them on the drying plank. These are pretty much all fantasy apart from the pile on the right. I now know where my WW1 Turks ended up! I never did finish them. I reckon I should sometime as I must have had these 30 years or so. From having a quick look I think they are all Irregular Miniatures.

I evidently had two phases of painting when I did 6mm…

The above was evidently when I took my time. The other option was when I just threw some paint on and called them done! As I have a few unpainted Fantasy armies , I am now wondering how Contrast would work???

So after stressing about how a plastic lizard would get on a toy dinosaur I came up with a cunning idea…

This gives me a good excuse to buy a box or two of Skinks to carry all of these around. 😂

I just want to start off by saying a big thank you to everyone for the kind words after our pretty rubbish day yesterday. I eventually managed to get him into my trailer today and got him taken away for burial. I really do have some amazing neighbours, those that helped yesterday and those today who loaned me a spare tyre for the trailer as well as a block and tackle. We shall not talk about the one that is the arsehole 🥴

Today proved a bit expensive as my trailer tyres were pretty shot and one had a slow puncture so after sorting out the pony I went to get new tyres. Unfortunately these had to come with wheels attached, but in reality I was going to order some new wheels anyway. Two wheels and a trailer board came to just under £200…ouch. I was going to try and get them on tomorrow, but it looks like the rain, sleet and general crappy ness are set in until Tuesday.

On the upside, I did manage to get a bit of painting done. I added the white and then went over it in yellow as well as painting a pile of snakes that came with the boxed set.

It now looks like there is a contrast between the red and the orange, which is what I wanted. Hopefully I can get these a bit further forward tomorrow.

Thanks once again.